Life as a trucker wife (the person at home)
I belong to a Facebook group mostly of truck driver wives and husbands who post questions, concerns or venting. I like this group because these people support each other in a way that no one in the mundane world can because they don't understand this life. I feel like I have loads of experience with this and try to help when I can. (See my bio).
One thing that keeps coming up is that the person at home feels hurt or angry because the driver is always gone and feels more at home on the road than AT home. I was that person in the beginning of his career as a driver. I could not fully understand why he felt that way and boy was I an angry wife!
I wish I could turn back time and let go of all that anger and hurt, I wasted so much energy; energy that I could have spent in a more positive way. As the person at home raising 2 kids (what seemed like by myself) I did not understand any of this and would get angry or hurt when he wasn't home for that special occasion whether it was a birthday, holiday, or anniversary.
He provided the tangible comfort for his kids and me. When he was home, he gave us as much quality time as he could provide no matter how tired he was from driving long hours to get home. Home time was always important to him but not always the priority.
So how did we make it? Communication!!! This is the biggest priority!! We didn't have cell phones when he started driving back in 1993, so there was no facetime or call whenever we felt like it. We were not rich so we could not afford the long-distance bills so we got a 1-800 number and scheduled time for me to be by the phone so we could have a 10-minute chat. When he was home, we always made time for just the 2 of us. I would arrange a babysitter even if it were just for 30 minutes for lunch and we would make the most of those 30 minutes for communication.
There are so many truckers on the road with families at home who don't understand like I didn't understand until I started riding with him full-time. I am in a unique position now and would like to offer insight and support to those families who are in similar situations that we were before my wonderful adventure with my truckdriver.
If you have thoughts or would like to comment please feel free to do so, I would love to hear from others.