• Lisa Keaveney

Get a POA!!!

I live in Ohio, my family lives in Colorado, it is about 1400 miles or 26 hours to drive from my town to their city. My mother had a major stroke in December 2016 which put her in a nursing home for the rest of her life. In January 2018 my grandfather died so my husband and I drove to Colorado for the funeral. I went to visit my mother in the nursing home almost as soon as we got to Pueblo because I hadn't seen her in a long time.

When we walked in the facility and after a brief visit with my mother, I was BOMBARDED with complications of who was going to be financially responsible for her care. I was blindsided by my aunt and the financial office at the facility. I found out that my brother, who said he would take care of everything and if he needed me would call (never did), just dropped the ball and became MIA.

My mother had told me years before that she had papers drawn up; her will, her living will and POA paperwork just in case. I never found it and she was unable to tell me where she had it because the stroke left her nonverbal. So, I started the very long journey to become conservator and guardian for her because no one else in the family was willing to help. Keep in mind I live 1400 miles away; the rest of the family live in town or about 45 minutes away from her.

It took me almost 1 1/2 years to finalize everything so I could pay the nursing facility, take care of my mother's assets and get her healthcare up to par again. No help from my brother AT ALL! Did you know that a POA is more widely recognized than a conservator/guardianship? but a conservator/guardianship has more rights than a POA, basically I am fully in charge of her because she can't make her own decisions, deemed incompetent by the Colorado courts.

My goal was to get her on Medicaid so she could afford to stay where she was at. I got her on Medicaid then sold the house, I had to start the process all over again (not the conservator or guardianship, thank goodness!!).... It has taken a very long time to spend down her assets and we are trying to get her back on Medicaid for good now.

I know this is a long story, but you can't imagine the heart ache and frustration I went through to get where we are today but if we all knew where the POA papers were, none of this would have had to happen. Unfortunately, in the process, I have lost all my family because they think I stole all of my mother's money. I just want them to all know that I have worked my ass off to give her the best care with her money and part of mine. The other parts of my life, my husband and I worked for and have used our own money to obtain what we have, thank you very much!!

What I have learned:

Get POA paperwork, trusts, wills etc. done and let your family know where they are or give them notarized copies of it all. It will save time, heartache and energy.

KIDS--I have our paperwork in my computer bag and will be getting it notarized soon.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE; do this for you and your family, you never know what will happen.

#livingwill #powerofattorney #POA #family #trust

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